It's crazy how time flies...

I’m sure you have heard the saying “time flies when you’re having fun.” The older I get, the more I realize that time in general, just flies. You don’t even have to be having fun; the clock just seems to be ticking faster, and faster with each second that goes by. Maybe it just speeds up when we’re not looking…who knows. Time really doesn’t stop for anyone does it? I am honestly starting to believe that the days are getting shorter each year. No one told me it was going to be like this when you grow up. By the time I’m 50, it’s going to seem like there’s only five minutes left in the day. Jeeeesh. I hope I don’t have a busy schedule!

I really started to notice the time slipping in May. I was finishing everything up for senior year, finishing virtual school, graduating, and I had family in town. It was hard to even find a second to breathe and reflect on my day. I thought that was bad…

Then there was yesterday. I was sitting on the couch with absolutely nothing to do. I realized I hadn’t taken many pictures since we had gotten back from our vacation in Cocoa. I asked Cassidy if she wanted to go and take a few shots before the sun went down, of course she agreed.

When I uploaded the pictures I was shocked. Oftentimes I say that Cassidy is nine years old, I know she’s not… but it always slips out. I guess subconsciously I want her to be nine forever, maybe that was a good year for us. I’m not really positive why this happens. Anyways, the girl in these pictures looked like she could have been my age. Where in the world did my little eleven year old go!?  It feels like just last week I was pinching her chubby cheeks, admiring her cute little giggle. And now, in two weeks she will be in sixth grade. I really don’t know where all the time has gone.

Just this morning my 13 year old brother was asking me questions about what he should expect when he starts middle school in a few weeks. Later, when we were washing dishes I noticed that he was just a smidgen shorter than I am. I’d bet that he is going to be about two inches taller than me by Christmas.

Yesterday I had plans to go to the beach with my boyfriend, but my dad told me that I should invite my sister to tag-along. When I asked him why, he brought something extremely important to my attention. After this summer, nothing will ever be the same. Soon I will be moving away for college and everything will change. It’s not like when I move out I’m going to disown my family, but everything is going to be extremely different. I’m not going to wake up every morning and speak in a French accent with my sister, or come home and talk about “creepers” with my brother.  After this summer, it will never be like this anymore. It’s sad, I’m definitely going to miss it.

Ahhh, it’s just crazy to sit back and consider how much things have changed, and how quickly. This year I will be starting college, my brother will be starting middle school, and my sister will be graduating elementary school. It’s mind boggling. If this is taking such a toll on me, I wonder how my parents feel about all of this. I don’t know what I am going to do when I have children. Chances are that I will be a complete mess. I can truthfully say, I am totally, 100% excited to see what the future has in store for everyone. I know we will all achieve great things one day. Life is certainly crazy, but entirely worth it all…all of the growing up, breaking up, making up, and everything in-between. Be sure to stay true to yourself, and just have faith. <3

XoXo

-Sadie

Pretenses.

Freedom. It's pretty awesome right? I absolutely love living in a country where I can wake up in the morning and just go to the beach, or go to the mall and not have to walk nine miles to a creek to get the water for my shower. I know, I may not agree with everything the government says or does all the time but, I do love our country. To me, the United States is a little eccentric. I like it though. It’s fun to be different. We've got guns, gays, crazy clothes, nice cars, parades, concerts...we've even got Lady Gaga. If you ever have the desire to put on a wig and wear a dress made out of Kermit the Frog puppets, then you are definitely in the right place.

Every single person that I have ever met from a foreign country has said that America is difficult to comprehend. I’m going to have to agree with them. I mean seriously, *there, their, they’re** to, two, too* Is all of that really necessary? Obviously the United States is…different compared to most countries. In America, you can risk your life for your country when you are 18, but you cannot buy alcohol until you are 21? You’re an “adult” at 18, but you can’t buy a house, a car, or even register for college without the help of a parent or guardian? I just don’t get it.

How is all of this supposed to work? Are you supposed to wake up on your 18th birthday, move out and live your life as an adult? That can’t be right. So what is? When are you really an adult? Can you live in your parents house after you are 18 and expect to be treated like an adult? I always thought that that was the way it was supposed to be. Well, as long as you kept things within reason of course. Just because you’re an “adult” doesn’t mean that you can invite your friends over to your parents house every night to play beer pong and have keg stand contests. I’m not that deranged. Considering who my father is, the only reason I would even make an effort to do something so absurd is if I were attempting suicide. (Which would NEVER happen.)

Everyone’s different. I get it. Peoples parenting skills vary tremendously. I get that too. I also understand that whenever you have children, you don’t want to see them grow up. Especially your first born. I get teary-eyed whenever I think of how much my little brother and sister have grown, and they’re not even my children! So yeah, I get it. But, there has got to be some point when you just have to realize that your children are going to grow up whether you like it or not. Now, I’m not saying when your children turn 18 kick them out of the house and only invite them over for Christmas dinner. But, there has to be some kind of understanding between the parents and their children. Just because they live in your house does not mean that they are still five years old. You have got to learn to trust them, and let them live their lives. But we know, “while they live under my roof, they live by my rules.” You can’t protect them forever. Not even while they’re living with you. There is a fine line between what’s acceptable and what’s not. And to be brutally honest, by the time your child is 18 they are already going to have a pretty good idea between right and wrong. You raise them their whole lives just so they can differentiate between the two, after so long there’s nothing more you can really do but believe in them and hope that they make the best decisions. Truth is, they've probably already got their minds made up as to what they are going to do anyways.

Maybe I’m just a boring, old soul, but I think I have a pretty good idea between what is right and what is not. I don’t mind having fun, but you’ve got to think logically before anything else. Now, I understand that when you turn 18 all of the rules don’t just fly out the window, but there has to be some kind of happy medium. Maybe if the United States didn’t have so many crazy double standards then this wouldn’t be so difficult. But, until then we’re just going to have to find out on our own what works and what doesn’t. Some people will succeed, others will fail. All in all, it will be worth it because even if it doesn’t work for you at the time, it will just make you stronger in the end. I wish everyone the best at figuring out all of these annoying pretenses that we have to deal with in life. All you can do is stay positive and pray for the best.

XoXo
-Sadie

The End of an Era.

Tonight marks the final episode of The Hills. I feel so grown up right now, it's almost unreal. It seems like just the other day we were in Middle School watching Kristen & LC battle it out over their high school crush, Stephen. Tonight at ten, it's over. As they say on The Hills, this marks "the end of an era.” Normally I don't really get upset, or even think about it whenever a show is over. But, this is The Hills. I feel like I've grown up with the cast, like I share some sort of creepy bond with the show. It's odd, I know.

 Laguna Beach has been over for quite a while, and now The Hills will be history as well. Not only that, but Toy Story too. We grew up with Toy Story, and now Andy decides that it is time to become all grown up and go off to college? Is this really happening? Just the other day he was in elementary school! I'm sure there will be another reality show to try to take over the legacy that Lauren began, and there will be another movie where toys come to life. But honestly, is anything really ever as good as the original? I normally have a hard time with remakes. As you can probably tell, I do not do well with change. No one can every replace my Hills, or my Toy Story.

I feel like The Hills coming to an end has shed some light on many different situations. Everyone is going off to college, getting real jobs, going into the military, and going off into the real world. Everyone is growing up. I knew it was coming, I expected every bit of it. But when it actually happens, it hits you like a ton of bricks. I am beyond happy for everyone who is getting out of this small town, and becoming something more than what Titusville had in store for them. It's awesome. But then again, it is so weird to think that just a few years ago the people that you slept next to during nap time are now living by themselves in strange, unfamiliar places, really making something out of their lives.

Just a few years ago, the most complicated thing that you had to worry about was whether or not you were coloring inside the lines. Now, the list of worries is endless. The freedom is like a giant adrenaline rush. In the end, the few friendships that constantly refuse to be broken are worth every second of drama, and every single tear that was shed. The relationships you make now will last a lifetime. The decisions you make at the moment, will determine who you want to be, who you claim to be, and who you really are in the future. Never change for other people, always be yourself.  You cannot live your life for other people; you have to live for you. Things will always change, people will always get older, but the things and the people that matter the most will always be there at the end of the day. Growing up is difficult, but it is the most astonishing experience you will ever have. Just take everything one step at a time, and enjoy the ride.  

And, I’m glad that I got the opportunity to grow up while watching Laguna Beach, The Hills, and Toy Story Programs like these teach people that it is okay to be yourself, it’s okay to be different, it’s okay to be you. They had a nice run, but now it’s time to move on to bigger and better things. <3 

Good luck everyone!

XoXo -Sadie.

~

If you haven't noticed by now, I am a Mooney. I love my last name, I really do. I even considered keeping it whenever I got married, that is how much I really love being a Mooney. Obviously being a Mooney is exciting, but with that joy comes bad luck. You know how they always say "the luck of the Irish"? Yeah, don't let them fool you. They never specified what kind of luck the Irish really have.

Today has just been one of those days. I feel like no matter what I do, nothing is going to work out the way I would like for it to go. But, that's just my luck.I recently found out that I (the 18 year old, who has never held a real job) have to pay for my own college. Not only do I have to pay for my schooling, but I have to buy myself a car. I know, I know...I'm not the only one that's had to do it, but still. It's driving me insane just thinking about it. It's been bothering me all day long. A few days ago I made the biggest purchase of my entire life...I finally broke down and bought myself an iPhone. Normally I try to save my money, but my trackball on my Blackberry scrolled through its last text message a long time ago. I had to do it. Really, I did. Now, I have about $20 left. Granted, a lot of people do owe me money...no one owes me $20,000.

*Losing this car has made things so much harder*

As of right now, I do not have any clue as to how I am going to go about this. I've applied for scholarships, I have looked up Grants, I have applied for countless jobs. Nothing, I do mean nothing is seeming to work. I am pretty-sure I have been more stressed in the last four days than I have been this last year. I've dealt with a lot in the last 18 years. I have always gotten through things rather easily, but this, this I have no idea how to handle. It irks me to no end. The only thing I can do from here on is hope & pray for the best. Stay positive. I've done what I can do, I've asked for help, I really don't think there's anymore that I could possibly do.

(Our very first picture together, exactly 3 years ago)
*But, having him in my life has made it so much better*

Now that we have established the depressing part of my day, I'd like to mention one thing that is keeping me from being in a totally crappy mood - Christopher Michael Smith. As of yesterday, Chris and I have known each other for exactly three years. Oftentimes I think of myself as a middle aged woman, somewhere around thirty-six or so. (Like I said, I've been through a lot in the last few years.) So to me it feels like we've been together for twenty years, but three years makes me just as happy. Most high school relationships only last a year at the most, so to know that we have more than doubled that standard just brightens my day. Luckily, Chris has been by my side through it all. Most guys would have left, and the few that may have stayed could have NEVER been as amazing as Chris has. If I actually sat here and listed everything that he has done for me and my brother & sister over the last three years, this blog would easily turn into a novel. I know that I do not thank him half as much as I should, or tell him just how much he truly means to me. So Chris, if you ever read this just know how special you are to me. I could have never done it without you, honestly.

I'm going to try to blog as often as I can. I've been wanting to buy a diary for quite some time now. But that would mean I would have to write...a lot. I know that if I actually went out and bought the dairy, I might write once every other week. But, with blogging I am hoping to keep everyone as updated as possible. I am super excited about this, and I really hope I can keep up with it! I promise a majority of my posts will not be as depressing as this one. Thanks for reading!


XoXo, SM.